The only word I can think of to describe this experience is expansive.
When we started out this week, I was concerned about my ability not only to meet deadlines, but also to produce work that I was proud of. With such a quick turn around for creating and finalizing each element of our story, I doubted myself and the quality of work I would be able to produce. But after the first few days, once our interviews had been completed and we were all in full creation mode, it became abundantly clear to me that my doubts stemmed from nothing but the little voice in my head that tells me I am the problem. That voice can often seep into our beliefs about ourselves, and often paralyzes us.
I almost didn’t apply to this project because I didn’t think I was good enough. I believed that there were people more talented and driven than myself, and that those individuals’ talent highlighted what I lacked. After getting accepted to the project, I wrote it off to luck, operating under the assumption that merit was not something I was capable of living up to, but rather that some unidentifiable entity finally felt like allowing me to achieve something.
As the week went on, however, I was forced to confront that little voice in my head. Forced to see myself not as the problem that was holding me back from achieving the things I wanted, but rather as the only thing that can make my dreams and desires happen. That little voice in my head, that twinkle of doubt, will always be there, but this week has expanded my view of myself and my abilities while also highlighting the importance of connection.
Without everyone involved, each individual helping behind the scenes to make this week go smoothly, this project, and these stories, would have never happened. If it weren’t for my mentor, the web editors, the photo editors, illustrators, sound mixers, copy editors, everyone at St. Louis Public Radio, and everyone involved, this project would not have been completed. Asking for help, and receiving guidance is the only way that we can thrive. We can try as hard as we’d like to do everything on our own, but that holds all of us to an impossible standard. We need people, we need connection, and most of the time we need help, and without every individual’s dedication and work, this project would not have happened.
I want to thank everyone involved for everything they have done to create this expansive environment. Thank you for believing in every one of us, and thank you for helping us achieve this goal. Our stories are the magic bundles of home that they are because of each and every one of us.